Lulu

Dear Amaterasu
kami goddess of Rising Sun
to say AIDS cannot be cured
is to admit that there are doors with no exit
even if I can leave through the same door I came in
for I am not a legend told by drunk sailors
or urban tale told by crystal-meth high HIVers
don’t judge my sweet bliss of denial
for darkness also provides
cozy joints and happy corners
infections are infectious
only as much as I want them to be
don’t judge me
for not taking my meds
even after all the struggle of those who came before me
for I am me
and by Buddhist pledge
I decide what’s best
although it’s not like I’m playing Messiah
martyr or a simple kind of lulu
but it’s my pagoda with dragons
and talking lions
and beautiful sceneries
full of wise okamis
and sakuras in bloom and glory
it’s my temple
my mind and body
and AIDS cannot defeat
this will of impervious weather
for my will is a storm of many tornadoes
pink petals of sakuras
revolving around these viruses that I command
not to reproduce
and to leave by force of will
and Amaterasu’s howl.